It's been a stressful, surprise-filled, joyful, morose, goofy, but all-around good 8 years... but I think I have outgrown you. You saw me through my awkward phase, my teens, my stupidity, and my "omg I'm an adult now!!11", and I do appreciate it. I just don't get the same feelings when I write in you anymore, and the urge to write at all comes less and less as the days go on. But who am I kidding, I'm a 20 year old girl, I change my mind all the time... Maybe I'll come back to you someday!
But for now, farewell, my friend. Please try not to make a scene. It's not you, it's me. Really.
Love always, Karena aka my_smores aka karena_ aka wafflepornfairy aka bubbles0825 aka a few others I can't remember...
the company holiday breakfast thing today was kinda lame. it would've been okay if mike's little speeches weren't so goddamn depressingly doom & gloom.
"you're all lucky you have jobs. we did really badly this year and it's going to get a lot worse. i know you all want more hours but to avoid shutting down we're going to have to just maintain what we have. if you're here right now you're probably not going to get fired, but its everyones responsibility to bring in more business. its YOUR jobs that are at stake."
i kinda felt like he was gonna be like "now eat your pancakes you ungrateful sons of bitches, and have a merry christmas. OR ELSE!"
Roni got fired from Denny's which was her main source of income, and Lauren's hours got cut, plus the apartment complex decided to add $500 to our deposit because Roni has bad credit... After much deliberation we decided that Chris and I are going to stay living with Brandon, Roni and Lauren are going to renew their lease, and we're just going to bail on the apartment complex.
This is good news and bad news. Overall it's good. I'm only paying $80 a month to live here, even if it is a really crappy situation... At least I can save money. And Chris is spending over $300 on my Christmas present, I'd like to be able to get him something nice too.
Oh and my parents are CRAZY!!! And incredibly immature! They keep fighting with my sis, while they're staying at her house... When Jonathan tried to apologize to my dad, he wouldn't hear it, and then later left a little note on their kitchen counter saying "Only 36 hours to go. YAY!' (36 hours 'til he leaves their house). What the crap is that about? How can he possibly think that's an appropriate thing to do? Oh wait he was probably drunk. Yeah, that's right! After three years of sobriety he has begun drinking again. WOOHOO, way to go, pops!
Oh and my mom is now convinced that Jonathan hates her (because he suggested that she NOT restrain my 30lb, 4 year old brother by sitting on top of him and screaming at him) and she decided to leave two weeks early. This is after she spent 2 days locked up in various parts of their house crying because she wanted a puppy and she wanted it NOW!
How the FUCK did I turn out so normal? It's mind-boggling!
You guys may wanna ignore this post, it's me being stupid and girly and lovey.
Last night text convo: Chris: Guess what? Me: What? Chris: I come alive as the shadows parade Me: Aw you're a streetlight Chris: Yup and you're my little girlfriend light. And I love you.
I thought that was cute and changed my myspace status to "karena is a little streetlight".
Today while I was at school apparently Chris went on and changed his to "DEL loves his streetlight." ♥ Oh, and then he compiled a 50 song playlist of all cutesy lovey songs, which I am now stonily enjoying listening to.
Now there are no words, only the glow in our wires And so we will be, you turn slow to me Our lips set the sun... (I'll never leave you...) The hills are on fire...
I come alive as the shadows parade My hot summer blood comes in floods and in waves Curbside confessions, no longer afraid of what you'll say
We had to do our fitness testing in my physiology of fitness class today. It would've been better if I hadn't still been sick (I was freakin' delusional with fever and stuff all weekend, it was horrible), and although I'm pretty ashamed of some of these scores I will post them.
Oh, and on September 25th I had my body fat percentage calculated, it's roughly 30%. Which is bad. 33% is considered obese. There's a 3 point margin of error though so I'm hoping that means I'm actually 27% (not the other scary direction). Wishful thinking.
I actually did the best in the class on situps (shocking!), doing 60 (one per second) is supposed to be just grand. The pushups I suck at, I only did about half what I should've, but I still did better than a lot of people in the class. One guy pumped out 85 in one minute, he's a beast. Flexibility was average for a woman. My run kinda sucked but I remained steady throughout the whole thing and that's all I care about, a lot of people started off fast and then were walking the last couple laps.
Obese my ass.
I do so hope we get tested again at the end of the semester, I KNOW I could've done more situps than that. And apparently I've been doing pushups wrong, I've been doing tricep pushups which are fuckin' HARD. I don't care much about running now because apparently that thing that happens when I run? The whole feet-going-numb-thing? Well that's bad, I've been advised not to be a runner. Oh well. Off to the pool!
Chris is gonna teach me how to drive his car this weekend!
I'm excited. His car's hella sick. It's a stickshift integra that's got all sorts of neat things on it to make it fast and loud and junk.
Me: I'm excited. Your car's cool. Just don't get mad at me if I mess up. Cuz I'm going to. Him: Lol nah it's cool. You might get scared. My cars really fast. Me: It won't be when I'm driving it lol. Hahaha did I ever tell you about the first time I ever drove? Him: No Me: I was in my neon with my sis when I was like 14. We were just in the fairgrounds parking lot and she was telling me what to do exactly. She was like, "K take the e-brake off" and I was like "Is it gonna move?!?" "No not yet. K now put it in drive." "Is it gonna move?!" "NO not yet. K now take your foot off the brake." "Is it gonna move?!?" "Maybe a little bit" "OMGOMGOMG!!!11 *slams brake on again at slight movement*"
True story. Then eventually I got used to the car moving and cruised around that parking lot without ever putting my foot on the gas pedal.
So I've been going with Jess to her church activities right? Well last night I was at a little party thing at the youth leaders house and she walks me out to the driveway when I'm leaving and she looks in my car and somehow the topic of me storing all my food in my car comes up. Yes, I keep all my food in my car. This does somewhat limit what I eat. I eat a lot of granola and odwalla bars. I do not eat much / any fruit, vegetables, dairy or meat. Lol. I've been doing alright though, I wasn't complaining or anything.
But tonight after bible study or whatever the hell it's called on Wednesday nights, Kerrie the youth leader tells me she has something for me! So I follow her out to her car and she starts bringing out grocery bags. She and some other people bought me groceries! Isn't that awesome? AND, check it out guys, they got me a little ice chest to keep in my car. SCORE!
They gave me bread, wheat thins, canned soup (the good chunky kind), peanut butter, jelly, honey, turkey, cheese, cream cheese (they noticed i had bagels in my car), mayo, pudding, orange juice, granola bars, potato chips, plastic cups, plastic silverware, paper plates... These people are so freaking nice it's crazy. I feel really bad taking charity like that but as Michael explained to me later, one of the hardest things you have to learn is how to accept help when people offer it. And it's true, that's one reason Dannie and I were fighting so much over the summer, it's really hard for me to admit that I need help.
I still don't think they needed to do that for me, but they said they wanted to and I didn't want to fight with them over it, haha. It was really nice and I totally appreciate it.